Freely Speaking Audio Devotion

Welcome to Freely Speaking, an OHSOFREE devotional ministry where we share our hearts and trust God for transformation.

Today, Shandyn Paul shares her thoughts on grief, with a focus on Romans 12:12 from the Amplified translation. In this verse, Paul encourages us to be:

“…constantly rejoicing in hope [because of our confidence in Christ], steadfast and patient in distress, devoted to prayer [continually seeking wisdom, guidance, and strength] …” (Romans 12:12 AMP).

Sitting on the edge of his bed, I could feel my son's fear worsening. Though I wasn't exactly sure what he feared, it was real to him as he explained his throbbing head and turning stomach. His symptoms felt all too familiar.

I've dealt with anxiety for several years. When I say I've dealt with it, I mean I've tried to ignore it, pray it away, medicate it, and therapy it into oblivion. Nevertheless, I still have anxiety, and there are days when I must battle the thoughts in my mind.

Here I was, witnessing firsthand my sweet nine-year-old boy battling the same thing. I grappled with my grief when I began my battle with anxiety, but now I felt it on an entirely different level. Grieving for myself was one thing, but I wasn’t prepared for the struggle I now faced with my child’s anxiety. 

Grief can look like a myriad of things; indeed, each of us has walked through it in some form or another. The Merriam-Webster dictionary describes grief as “deep and poignant distress.” I assure you, in my times of grief, there have been moments of hopelessness, impatience, and a lack of prayer. However, in times of distress, we are wise to remember the words of the Apostle Paul - remain full of hope, be patient, and through it all, pray.

I hate that I know anxiety. Even more so, I hate that my child knows it, too. Since my battle with anxiety began, I've questioned and wondered, “Why?” I’ve even grieved over it. Yet, that night, I thanked God for my familiarity with anxious thoughts because I could understand with empathy what my son was enduring. I found the strength to pray, asking for wisdom and guidance to walk me through this battle with my child, just as He walks with me through mine.

How have you found hope in times of grief?

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