Freely Speaking with Sarah

Whenever a doctor comes into the room during an ultrasound and tells you that something isn’t quite right with your unborn child, your life changes; at that moment, my twenty-three years old self unknowingly signed up for a lifetime of “different.” My dreams of this little boy that would one day play baseball in the yard, ski with cousins, and be as tall as his dad came crashing down.
 
My son was born with a genetic disorder that would stunt his growth and eventually develop into end-stage renal disease. He would need dialysis, bladder surgeries, growth hormones, and a kidney transplant before he reached five years old. This was going to require a type of caretaking for which I was unprepared.
 
When your child cannot grow or thrive as you had hoped, the darkness sometimes overwhelms you. Although it was easy to say, “at least he’s still alive,” that didn’t cure my child or heal the heartache and anger I felt. I couldn’t believe God, who loved me, was willing to let me go through this.
 
I’d love to take you on a weekly journey of what the Lord so graciously taught me as my son grew, but I’m limited on my words here. Let’s jump ahead to 2022. I’m thirty-five, and we have five children; that little boy is eleven and still needs more help than most boys his age. He needs me daily to help with bladder care, medicines, and usual mom things.
 
My interactions with my son and my attitude have significantly changed over the last eleven years. We walked through the dark times to come out with more humility and more time spent in prayer.

The Bible says, “Even the darkness is not dark to You, and the night is as bright as the day. Darkness and light are alike to You” (Psalm 139:12 NASB).

If your service to somebody feels like it brings dark moments into your life, I invite you to pray and remember this verse. There is no darkness we face alone. There is no depth that He cannot flood with His light. Won't you Invite Him into those dark places, today?