I was only ten years old when I first heard the “C” word; cancer. My mom was diagnosed with non-Hodgkin’s lymphoma, and the adults whispered information around me. I knew what was going on. My mother had a life-threatening disease. She was very sick.
Mom required radiation in the summer of 1976, so five days a week, I drove her to a town 35 miles away. Cancer treatments at that time were rudimentary, and the radiation was burning her skin. My sister’s four-year-old son had just suffered through similar treatments and died of brain cancer before Christmas. Our family was suffering.
At a Wednesday night service just before returning to my final year of college in Springfield, Mo., I worried that my mother might not live long enough to attend my graduation in the spring. My focus suddenly switched to what the song leader was singing. “Tis so sweet to trust in Jesus; just to take Him at His word. Just to rest upon His promise...oh for grace to trust Him more.”
That was my song now…to trust. I had to trust the scripture in (Job 1:21b KJV), “The Lord gave and the Lord hath taken away, blessed be the name of the Lord.” That is a hard verse to believe when facing fear and grief. But when we realize that everything in our life belongs to God, we surrender to His will and His timing. The result brings a lifetime of trust and peace.
By the way, mom attended my graduation. She died a year later, but with time I understood that God is trustworthy and gracious and that His plan is best.
What are your struggles today? I can tell you that Jesus cares for you and is concerned about any troubles you have had or are now facing. It is so sweet to trust Him.
Mom required radiation in the summer of 1976, so five days a week, I drove her to a town 35 miles away. Cancer treatments at that time were rudimentary, and the radiation was burning her skin. My sister’s four-year-old son had just suffered through similar treatments and died of brain cancer before Christmas. Our family was suffering.
At a Wednesday night service just before returning to my final year of college in Springfield, Mo., I worried that my mother might not live long enough to attend my graduation in the spring. My focus suddenly switched to what the song leader was singing. “Tis so sweet to trust in Jesus; just to take Him at His word. Just to rest upon His promise...oh for grace to trust Him more.”
That was my song now…to trust. I had to trust the scripture in (Job 1:21b KJV), “The Lord gave and the Lord hath taken away, blessed be the name of the Lord.” That is a hard verse to believe when facing fear and grief. But when we realize that everything in our life belongs to God, we surrender to His will and His timing. The result brings a lifetime of trust and peace.
By the way, mom attended my graduation. She died a year later, but with time I understood that God is trustworthy and gracious and that His plan is best.
What are your struggles today? I can tell you that Jesus cares for you and is concerned about any troubles you have had or are now facing. It is so sweet to trust Him.
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5 Comments
I'm sure it was very difficult to see your mother suffer when you were so young. I was blessed with two parents that were fairly healthy. But for my own cancer journey I struggled and still sometimes struggle with the feeling that the cancer could come back at any time. But I do trust that the Lord will provide and take care of me. When I went back to church after my cancer diagnosis I remember that song, you give and take away you give and take away, but I will choose to say, Lord blessed be your name. That was my theme song for my cancer journey.
My mother didn't have cancer. She had extreme depression. So much she made 5 attempts at suicide before I finished high school. That was hard for me to grasp. In time I figured out a lot of things about her life. She was very much ashamed of her condition.
She got help at the time but would not attend any counciling appointments. Afraid someone might see her there.
She would not tell me much about my father other than a nice guy.
Recently I dove into Ancestry. A lot of things came to light. Life was so hard for her. She had been married before and he was extremely abusive. She finally got free in almost 20 years.
She met my Dad but fate took him away far too soon. Was killed in train accident he was driving gasoline truck. Died two days before his 43 birthday.
Mom found herself with a toddler to raise and no skills to make a living. Had life good for about 26 months. No wonder she was depressed.
Everything is going to work out for us. We just got to believe. Life turns out good.
Marge thank you for sharing. It is a struggle to watch a loved one also struggle and suffer. You were the best daughter and I'm so glad God gave grace for her to see you graduate. Trusting Jesus is a sweet place to discover, even at times when grief threatens our peace. Love to you💜
Grief is a struggle. The younger you are, it just makes it even harder. I too am with you and Susan. Cancer can create its own fear. Even though you walk through it and are told you are well, you still always wonder if it will come back. That is when "trusting in the Lord" takes on new meaning. You trust or you worry. The latter will cause more problems than it's worth. So, I "work" to maintain trust. Trust in my Lord brings peace!
That had to have been so hard for your family. I'm grateful you had more time with her. God does have his plan for us that we don't always understand but he is always there in our faith and trust!!💜💜💋