Freely Speaking with Debbie

Struggles! We’ve all faced something that challenged our peace—big decisions, diseases, moves, and even our faith.

In Job 7:1 (NLT), Job says, “Is not all human life a struggle?” as he recalls long, weary nights of suffering.

Lately, I have been caught in one of these moments of struggle.  I am a caregiver to my husband, who has Alzheimer’s/Lewy bodies disease. I know this disease does not end well or get better, but I always want the best for him and rarely consider myself.

Our last neurologist appointment reduced me to tears and presented a new struggle. The doctor said that my husband’s mind would be completely gone within two years, and his body could last for years.  He said that for both our benefit, I should consider placing him in the VA memory care center.  

Talk about reality hitting me in the face!  My inner struggle began.  What should I do? When? How can I do this?

Do you remember the old TV shows and movies where people always seemed to step into quicksand?  When I was young, it was a real fear for me; every mud hole was a potential pool of doom and could swallow me up!  Here in the doctor’s office, I felt like I had just stepped into a pool of quicksand as I struggled with the options.  Then I remembered the instructions always given in those TV shows, don’t struggle because you will sink faster.  Be still, breathe, and wait for someone to offer you a branch and pull you out.

I am learning to be still in my struggle to make this decision.  I’ve had people with experience in this valley offer excellent advice and encouragement.  I’m realizing, too, that it’s in the quiet time that my heart can ask God for help and strength.  The answer will never be what I want, but it will be what’s needed.  

The answer hasn’t been decided yet. I believe that as I wait, God will make it clear.

What struggle has life handed you?  How did God keep you from sinking?