Freely Speaking with Sarah

This past spring, some friends and I did a Bible study together. We dove deep into the Old Testament, specifically Exodus. We learned about God’s plan for His people and His covenant with man.  We also studied a lot about sin.

I typically would tell you I didn’t have any big sins. I’m a decent person most of the time. As we did this study, I examined my heart and asked the Lord to show me where to deepen my relationship with Him. What was happening in my life that was holding me back from sitting in His presence?

In His goodness, God began to show me things like anger, resentment, division, jealousy, and more. I attributed these things to ordinary human feelings and didn’t want to face them as sins. I spent nights in prayer and deep conversation, questioning how I got so far from the Lord and how I could get back by His side.

This Psalm, which I remembered from a song I sang as a child, comes to mind, “Create in me a clean heart, God, and renew a steadfast spirit within me” (Psalm 51:10 NASB 1995). This scripture became my prayer that God would be willing to do a spiritual cleanout in my life.

Let me tell you, when you pray big prayers, you get big answers. Our Father did as I asked. He lifted a blanket of shame and disappointment off me and clothed me in redemption. He did this in a way I had never felt before, in a way that can only happen by somebody who loves you deeply and whom you love in return.

The Lord took my heart, which I thought was turned towards Him, stripped it down, and revitalized it to beat only for Him.

I promise you, friend, whether today is your first day as a follower of Him or you’re on day 23,000, He can make you clean again.